Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
