I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
