Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
