Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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