Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
