I will die if light touches me.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
God, you're like boner-b-gone
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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