i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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