if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
