If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
