she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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