Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
