we have officially lost it.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
