i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
