Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
