That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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