I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
