So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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