what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
