Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just invented taco cereal.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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