I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
