i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im holly from the hills drunk
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
