So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
