Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
