What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
