if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
