so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it hurts more in the daytime
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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