Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
