I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
