He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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