How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think I died a long time ago.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
