Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
