worst night to have a conscience
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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