Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
