My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
