Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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