We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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