I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
