I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
