he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
