Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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