The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
they're like a gay fantastic four
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
