that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
