u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
