ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
