Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
