My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
