i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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