no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
