how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
