Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
