You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
